I think we can all agree that waiting is one of the most difficult tasks in life. Whether you are 6 and playing the waiting game to see Cinderella at Disney World or you are 56 and playing the waiting game for the dentist office, waiting is never fun. At the stage of life I am in, along with many of my friends, we are playing the
dating waiting game of marriage.
This is definitely a fun and exciting time, however it can also become very exhausting and frustrating when you aren’t just dating to be dating, but dating with a godly purpose and intent. My friends and I have shared many good laughs at some of the guys I’ve dated over the years. Trust me I’ve got some stories that I couldn’t make up even if I tried 😂. But to be honest sometimes it gets discouraging. I have definitely been given the heat a few times for “not being nice enough” to guys or, “not giving them a chance”. Now I will admit I do have a short fuse and when you start bashing my favorite football team on a first date you can’t be butt hurt because I walked out…back to my point… The reason many guys do not get more than one, or two, dates with me is because I know what I want, and I REFUSE to settle for less.
I want a guy who loves Jesus more than he will ever, or could ever, love me. I want a guy who loves, and is as passionate about sports as I am. I want a guy that we can work out together, play church league softball or pick up soccer. I want a guy who is adventurous, a guy who has greater dreams beyond climbing the corporate ladder and earning lots of money. I want a guy who has passions and dreams that only God can accomplish. I want a guy who will jam recklessly with me in the car to T Swift. I want a guy who is willing to work for whatever he has. I want a guy who loves his family, loves my family, and his family loves me. A guy who wants his own family, and desires to lead them in a godly manner. I want a guy who doesn’t always give me my way, even though I can be very persistent. I want a guy with LOTS and LOTS of patience, because I’m fully aware of how stubborn I can be. I want a guy who is a good listener, because I sure do love to talk, but I really need someone to teach me how to listen. I want a guy who is home more than he is away, but most importantly is present. I want a guy who understands why it is completely unacceptable to plan a wedding or any other big event during football season or March Madness. I want a guy who will sit on the couch with me in our football jerseys on Sunday afternoons as I scream at the TV. I want a guy who loves adventures and desires to travel the world, who isn’t afraid of uncertainties, but embraces them. I want a guy who believes in miracles, who is fearless to the impossible because he serves such a possible God. I want a guy that accepts my faliures, my imperfections, and my shortcomings. Most importantly, I want a guy who is so imperfect that he reminds me everyday that he will NEVER complete me and will always fail me. He will remind me that only Jesus will NEVER fail me, and fulfill my deepest needs and desires. I want a guy that shows and teaches me the grace that Jesus demonstrated on the cross for us all.
I have spent years praying for the man God has planned for me to marry and so have my parents, and when I know that a guy is not that, then I don’t see a point in leading him on just for the pleasure of a fun night and free meal. I have many friends and family that can testify that their husbands are the men that they prayed for, and more. In Genesis 29, we’re reminded of a faithful servant named Jacob who served his father-in-law for 7 years before he was given his wife, and guess what she was not even the woman he had asked for. So he had to wait another 7 years before he was given Rachel. But it was well worth it, because he had to wait.
So I am passing along advice given to me by my much wiser predecessors…Set your standards high, pray hard, and never settle. And that doesn’t just apply to relationships, that goes for all of your dreams. Don’t settle for ordinary, chase the extraordinary!
God has someone amazing for you, but trust His plans, trust His timing, and trust His purpose. I used to say I was waiting for my dream guy, but now I am waiting for God’s dream guy because I know He’s much better than I could ever imagine on my own!